Mo’Monday: A Female Ode to Movember

Now I may be an anomaly, so I forewarn all male-gendered readers out there this opinion might not apply to every member of the fairer breed, but I. Love. Movember.

I am a November-born Scorpio, and think that there is no better celebration for the month of my birth than men everywhere uniting and growing appalling facial hair to raise awareness for testicular cancer – really, I ask, what’s not to like?

Now I admit, I might be biased in my opinions:

Firstly, because I do not have a boyfriend. Therefore the annual embarrassment of introducing a normally respectable young man, who of recent days resembles more of an Eastern European Porn Star, does not apply. And secondly, because I am then not morally obliged in kissing said-Porn-Star-lookalike, even if it does result in a painful and ugly face rash. (For those of you out there who do, may I suggest E45 cream as a soothing antidote? But stock up now at Boots as it is sure to run out within the first two weeks of this Holy month.)

Furthermore, thanks to my Y Chromosome I am not subject to the double-edged sword of humiliation that Movember can serve up. Every year I ask myself which is worse: being able to cultivate a full-fledged tasch and therefore being stuck with it for the long 31-day period, or embarrassingly still, having to explain in social situations why three weeks in your facial follicles still only resemble a Sunday Shadow. And they said puberty was unkind!

However of recent years the moustache has somehow morphed into a fashion accessory. A facial preference of the Shoreditch inhabiting, fixey bike riding, media generation that is “So East London”. And if it is good enough for them then surely it is good enough for us, so onto the positives of this stubbly season…

Firstly, for men, peacocking will become a piece of cake. No need for elaborate dress codes, fancy accessories or the purchasing of props… all you need is your furry facial friend and the confidence to milk it!

[Side note for females: it is also a perfect conversation starter, or awkward situation avoider as every guy will happily wax on for hours about why they chose that particular style of moustache, how shaving is so radically different when it only involves you cheeks, or the many examples of Mo-envy they have encountered in the first week alone.]

Secondly, I see the Movember Moustache as a badge (of honour? if you will) that a man can wear for one month of the year, in which his face tells the world “I am X, a fun-loving guy who doesn’t take himself or his appearance too seriously. However I am compassionate and understanding to the struggle of others, and not afraid to show my support in a public manner.” And I challenge you to find a girl out there who wouldn’t swipe right to X on tinder with a profile like that!


And on that note I have to admit that I am a little sad that my gender excludes me from the Mo Crew. And having rejected the offer from my housemate for us both to draw a moustache on our face every day in a sign of solidarity, another year passes in which I can only encourage all you brave males out there.

And who knows, maybe in years to come modern technology and improving social stigmas will allow women to happily don a tash and the photo I can post up here will be of myself, probably still single, but at least with a strip of hair above my lip for company. Better than cats right?



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